Stuck

I feel like maybe I'm not the only one stuck right now.

Stuck in school until May.
Stuck inside from the snow.
Stuck in debt.
Stuck in relationships with friends.
Stuck at work...afraid to drive home in the weather.

Yeah I would say that many Texans right now are as stuck as I am.
So one day last week I was walking to the counseling office and decided to check my bank account to see how close we were to hitting $0. And realized our account had overdrafted by $200!!! I began hyperventilating! I immediately called Matt and became let's be honest angry, stressed, and I'm pretty sure there were veins popping. I had just had a conversation with him about watching our account and keeping up with when bills were due and then disaster struck!!! So I basically informed him that he had until 5:00pm to fix this problem. Then soon after he called me back and informed me that he heard back from the job he wanted and he got the position! I think it's so funny how the same day our account turned upside down his career turned right side up. Can you be joyous and angry at the same time? Not really, that's why I worked toward letting go of that anger. So about the job.

He will be officially titled Systems Administrator Level II for Texas Health System's Cardiology team. Matt will be working with doctors and sometimes during their surgeries on the many computer and other equipment used to help patients. So basically a computer doctor.So we have been celebrating for like two weeks straight. My hubby begins his new job on Valentines day!

Back to the temporary anger...

I am in need of serious prayer to let go of this anger that is seemingly possessing my spirit. It takes away my job, it robs me of pleasure, and most importantly comes between me and God. He is the one that has provided for this family of below poverty line earnings for the year of 2010. He has provided love and comfort and a supportive heart in my Husband when Matt is the one that needed it the most. He has provided me with peace throughout most of this process of Matt being unemployed. And He had shown me how societal views of financial standing and status can be ignored in order to be happy.

Lessons learned? Absolutely. But I'm still seething in anger. I'm so angry that we are struggling to realize our dreams for our family while working so hard. Everyday it seems so senseless sometimes for me to be working two jobs that aren't even paying me anything, and one that pays barely over minimum wage. Is this some funny joke? I mean I knew that going to graduate school would be hard...but how do doctors do it? I mean those people are in school for like ten years? Who supports them? I've been thinking about this for a while now. God truly works miracles. How did we pay our bills the last ten months? I don't even remember it's all such a blur. So I guess we can be patient for another month. Just one of the many lessons God will teach Matt and I. In the meantime I'm working on letting go. Because I'm NOT in control...which is a hard lesson to learn.